


Confessions/Forgiveness

by absolutenihilist



Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-26 00:10:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21364957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/absolutenihilist/pseuds/absolutenihilist
Summary: When you were randomly chosen by Phineas to be awoken from cryosleep to save the Halcyon colony from the corporate overlords, you were happy to help. How will your adventure end, and what will happen along this one big adventure to save a colony from rich capitalist assholes?Angsty and fluffy with a hint of crack. There won't be smut (sorry lmao just not comfortable writing it), but it'll get close. I'll be honest, this is entirely self-indulgent.I'm rewriting this fic currently because I'm not too happy with it.Trigger warnings: guns/weapons, violence, blood, bruising, mentions of abuse. Specific TWs for each chapter in notes/chapter summaries for each individual chapter. There will be spoilers for the main game story, as well as companion quests, so if you don't want spoilers, save this for later. You have been warned.
Relationships: The Captain/Maximillian DeSoto/Felix Millstone
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7





	1. One - The Newest Crew Member

**Author's Note:**

> Log 1: You have left Edgewater, and have just landed at your next location - The Groundbreaker. You’ve helped Junlei, The Groundbreaker’s engineer with finding some parts, and are headed back to your ship, The Unreliable. You're met with a surprise, but an admittedly welcome one. 
> 
> Recommended Song: Someone New, Hozier. A bop, but also somewhat matches the tone... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPJSsAr2iu0

When you finally had finished helping Junlei with her radiator parts, Parvati, Vicar Max and yourself headed back to The Unreliable. What surprised you was a young man - perhaps slightly younger than yourself, around 22 - stood by the ramp leading up to your ship’s door.

He was taller than you, with messy-but-in-a-good-and-attractive-way dark brown hair, and light brown, almost hazel eyes. There was something soft and innocent about him, and when he saw you he stood up straight. 

“That's a decent looking ship, boss. The only thing it's missing is me.” Even though he tried to act confident, you could tell he was nervous by the way his eyes darted around, and was bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet.

"You seem pretty keen to throw in with someone you barely know.” 

“Come on, gimme a shot, Boss. That's all I'm asking. You know, I could be the best damn crew you've ever hired."

"Alright then, why should I hire you?"

"You're giving me a shot? Alright, hang on, I-I have a speech...” He pulled a piece of crumpled paper from one of his pockets, straightening it out. “Hello. I am Felix Millstone. I have prepared a list of reasons as to why you should hire me to join your crew and or outlaw gang. Firstly, I am highly personable and I get on well with anyone who isn't of the jackass persuasion." Parvati giggled.

"Sorry, he's funny." She stifled her grin with her hand.

"Secondly, I can be counted on in the event of a raid, firefight or standoff. My motto is - if you need a steady gunhand, I'm your man," He looke up from his paper. "That motto is a work in progress." You nodded.

"Please, continue." He began to relax a lot more as you smiled at him.

"Additionally, I have several years of experience as a box-hauler. This skill might come in handy if you need me to drag a body away or to hold a door open when escaping enemy fire. In conclusion, thank you for considering me for your ships crew and or outlaw gang. I look forward to our adventures together."

Parvati nodded. "I though that was real good, Felix."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence! So, am I in?"

"What about an interview?"

"Okay, sure. Ask away." 

"What's the value of pi?"

Felix scoffed. "Uh-it's delicious. Mock-apple pie with a triple layer crust, maybe with a little cream on top? Classic." You tried to control your laughter, but couldn't not cackle at his response. When you wiped the tears away and controlled yourself again, you made your decision.

“welcome to the crew, Felix. Come on.” You opened The Unreliable’s door, and the three followed you inside, pausing in the little foyer area, in front of the plaque of the ship. You had to admit, Hawthorne might have been an idiot, but he did have a sense of humor. The ship was constructed in 2325, in the Triangulum Colony, named the Reliable - that is, until Hawthorne had painted 'un' in red, an arrow pointing to the spot before 'Reliable'. 

ADA greeted you, as she usually did every time you came back. It was always nice to hear, though it reminded you of the parts you needed to get to help her performance as the ship's AI. “Welcome back, Captain.” At her voice, Yoonseok emerged from the engine room, leaning in the doorway, clad in black as he usually was. 

“Thank you, Captain...”

“Y/N. Captain Y/N L/N. Captain is fine, though.” You smiled at him as he beamed. “This is Parvati, Yoonseok, Vicar Max, and the AI, ADA,” they each waved as you introduced them. “Parvati, can you show Felix around?”

“Of course! Come on, I can show you the engine room, and the really cool looking...” Her voice drifted off as the two walked up the stairs, Parvati chattering away the moment she could talk about the ship’s specs. Yoonseok went back into the engine room, presumably doing more work on ADA’s code. Max turned to you.

“You’re not going to just take in every kid you see, right?” Though his tone was slightly sarcastic, you could tell there was something else to what he said.

You crossed your arms. “No, I won’t. He seems useful, and I think he’s trustworthy. Why?”

He shook his head, dismissing my question. “Nothing, nothing. I better go look at those texts again.” He made his way quickly up the stairs, as you went and sat in the control room chair, propping your feet on the usual spot on one of the control terminals. 

“Is everything alright, Captain?”

You sighed. “I think so, ADA. Max just seems grumpier than usual.”

“I know very little about complex human emotions, but I think he is upset with Felix joining the crew.” 

“But why?”

They paused. “I don’t know. Maybe he feels threatened by him.”

The chair creaked as you sat back, propping your feet on the desk. “Oh well. Hopefully they’ll get on. I don’t want to have to kick one of them out, I already like Felix and he’s been here all of five minutes. Anyway, let’s change the subject. Do you know what parts you’ll need to update your personality matrix?”

“I have been researching though databanks, and it depends on how many bits you are willing to spend, Captain. If we get the newest technology, it will not be compatible with my current parts, and everything will need replacing. If we get slightly older technology, it will be cheaper and I will not have to replace everything, but we will need to upgrade again in a few months regardless. If Yoonseok keeps updating me at the rate he is, I will need updating fairly soon.” 

“How much for everything new? And how long would it last?” 

“Around ten thousand, though you could probably pay a little less if you made a deal. It would last me approximately one year.”

You paused. Ten thousand bits was a lot, and it was all you had including the ones stored in your safe. “The cost for the older technology?”

“Including the upgrade in a few months, around eight thousand.” 

Your fingers drummed on the chair of the arm. “We might as well replace everything, then. Can it wait a few days, ADA?”

“Of course, Captain. My current technology is estimated to last two weeks before it begins to deteriorate with the new code.” 

You nodded. “Good. How are the current supplies?”

“Calculating...” ADA definitely needed the upgrade to her hardware, her software needed the capacity. “Consumables at 50%. They will last a month between the five of you.” 

“Thanks, ADA. I better go see Yoonseok and see what he’s up to.”

“No problem, Captain.” You got up, and went to the engine room. Why the computer to access ADA’s code was in there, you didn’t know. It would’ve made more sense in the control room, and when you could move it, you were going to. You climbed the yellow ladder, and sat in the chair next to Yoonseok, who was reading over the many lines of code on the computer. 

“Hey, Y/N.” Yoonseok is one of your childhood friends - when you’d both been chosen to go colonise a new planet in the Halcyon system, it was like you’d been accepted into the same university. He was the only one in the crew that actually knew you, and called you by your real name instead of Captain, or some variation. He didn’t know how to fire a gun and wasn’t a good liar, but he was brilliant at coding, hacking, and the like.

“Hey, Yoon. What’ve you done so far?”

“In basic terms, debugged most of ADA’s code. I’ve given her more access to the fire extinguishing system, and the air circulation system. There shouldn’t be any issues with the heating or lights anymore, and once we get that upgrade she will be able to have nearly total control of the ship unless you give her orders, or initiate Command Override.”

“All that in two days?”

He pushed his glasses further up his face. “I have to say, Hawthorne might have been awful at making sure his code was consistent, but he kept accurate logs on everything he did, so it wasn’t too difficult to find the bits I needed. Are you getting the brand new hardware?”

“Yeah, might as well. In a week, so we aren’t completely broke.” 

He grinned. “Great. That means I can give her greater emotional depth, so she can feel emotions more like a human than AI, and handle a lot more tasks at the same time.” You smiled. 

“That’s great! I have to say, well done.” Your hand rested on his shoulder. “You should eat something and get some sleep.” 

He shook his head, black hair falling over his eyes. “No, I have a little bit more to do-”

“Yoonie, you’ve done enough. Come on.” You turned his chair around, made sure his code was saved - twice - and dragged him by his wrist to the ladder up to the kitchen. He reluctantly climbed up, and you both went and grabbed some food from the cupboard, sitting at the table as the two of you bantered, joking about high school physics teachers and the dumb things you and your other friends used to do. 

Yoonseok yawned. “I better have a nap.” 

“Same... Goodnight Yoonie.” You hugged. He was the type, that despite his tall and skinny body, gave good hugs. The kind that you could feel the love through. He liked physical affection, and as he was Korean, he was used to a lot of platonic hugs and handholding. 

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He went into his room, the door sliding shut. As you got up, Felix approached you, face alight.

“Hey, Captain. Thanks for letting me join your crew.” 

“No problem. Help yourself to food when you want it.”

“Thanks, Captain.” He smiled broadly, and you turned to head down a flight of stairs to the small landing where your quarters were located, changing from your spacesuit into some dark loose pants and white shirt, crawling into bed, falling asleep fairly quickly.


	2. Two - God Damn Caffeine Pills...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Log #2: You’ve managed to get a navkey to Stellar Bay, where you are to meet a hunter called Nyoka. You just need to acquire the new parts to ADA’s personality matrix so that Yoonseok can upgrade them while you, Felix and Max go out and find out about Nyoka, apparently a frequenter of a bar in Stellar Bay. Once you get back, there is a tender moment with Felix.
> 
> Song of the Chapter: Talk, Hozier. Again another bop, and I promise the next chapter's song won't be Hozier

You were the first one up, and while the others were asleep you made yourself a coffee. It wasn’t a proper one, but you’d managed to get a hold of a substitute that did the same thing, and had a… close enough taste. You did some of the mundane tasks - tidying the kitchen, putting rubbish in the compactor, and cleaning the bathroom. As you finished, you went back into the kitchen, where Max, Felix and Parvati were all sitting, talking over breakfast. Well, Max was sitting there quietly, occasionally interjecting while the other two talked. They were getting on very well after knowing each other for about a week. Yoonseok emerged from his room as you did. 

“Morning, Y/N.” He murmured as you stood together. “Want coffee?”

“No thanks, I had one before.”

He shrugged. “Alright.” Parvati turned around to look at you both. 

“Good morning Yoonseok, and Captain.” She beamed. Felix grinned. 

“Hey, Boss. And Yoonseok. What’re we doing today?” All eyes were now looking at you.

“I’m going with Parvati and Yoonseok to get the new parts for ADA, and then once they have them installed, we’re going to Monarch.” Everyone straightened up at the name of another planet, though Yoonseok seemed mostly unbothered - he’d been on a few different planets by now, so the novelty had somewhat worn off of him.

“I get to step foot on another planet?! Little me never would’ve thought I would’ve done that.” Parvati jumped up. Felix’s face lit up. 

“I know! I’ve only ever known The Groundbreaker, and have never been on an actual planet before!” Their responses made you smile, the two practically inhaling their breakfasts.

“Alright, Parvati, Yoonseok, you ready?” You stood by the main door as the other two came down the stairs. “Okay, let’s go.” The three of you left the ship, and went to Gladys, whom you had previously acquired the Stellar Bay navkey from, and purchased the parts needed. You all carried the parts back, and sat them down on the floor of the control room, while Yoonseok and Parvati set to work, replacing ADA’s personality matrix with new parts. 

While they did this, you and Max were talking about the French book he’d found. Well, you started talking about the book, somehow turning into a conversation about you describing the one time you went to France as a child. 

“I remember the croissants and crepes. They were good. I don’t really remember much else, I was around eight at the time. I made a friend, we used to send letters before we both had access to our own comms units. Letters were pretty rare, so we’d handwrite digital letters instead. I miss her, but it turns out she was an uptight, rich bitch, and she stopped sending me letters after I turned sixteen. I was friends with Yoonseok by then though, and look at us now.” Footsteps stopped outside the door, and Parvati was grinning. 

“We’re done, Captain.” Her smile was wide, and both of you stood up.

“Brilliant! Let’s go to Monarch.” You went down the stairs quickly, into the control room. “How’re you feeling, ADA?”

“Good, Captain. Really good! I can run more code, and I can… it’s like I can feel the ship, and it takes me a few seconds to calculate anything. I have access to nearly all the ship’s data, and it’s incredible! There’s so much more RAM… Thank you, Captain. I’ve been programmed to feel happy. Very happy.” Everyone was smiling at ADA’s reaction, and their image on the screen was smiling too.

“You ready to take us to Monarch?”

“Of course, Captain.” ADA had actually changed the destination on the navigation console herself, which was impressive - we just had to give her the word. Within minutes, after undocking from The Groundbreaker, we were landing on the Stellar Bay landing pad. Warnings flared on the screen in various shades of red. “Are you sure you wish to land here, Captain?”

“Do you detect anything that could immediately kill us?”

“No.” 

“Then we’re landing.” After another few minutes, ADA spoke over the loudspeakers, throughout the ship.

“We have landed at Stellar Bay. You are free to disembark.” You stood up, looking at Max and Felix. 

“You two ready?” 

“Hell yeah!” Felix exclaimed.

Max sounded less excited. “Yeah. Let’s go find Nyoka.” The three of you left the ship, and looked around. Monarch was different to other planets, as it was more colourful and had a lot more rocks and more unusual plants, and the stench of sulfur made the air smell foul. There was a kind of beauty to it, still. The three of you went down the lift, and walked down the path to the gates of Stellar Bay. You were greeted by a male that after a few moments of meeting, realised was fairly similar to Felix. Both tossball loving, likeable idiots. He wanted us to acquire a signed poster for him, which didn’t sound like a large issue, so I agreed to help him - he also pointed us in the direction of the bar Nyoka apparently frequented. 

When we walked in, we could tell who she was right away - bright pink hair, drinking extraordinary amounts of alcohol, and telling a story about killing a mantiqueen. Even after you tried to talk to her, she continued to tell her story, until she finished talking. You were easily annoyed by people that did that.

“Right, what do you want?” She turned to you taking a swig from a bottle of Spectrum Vodka.

“We were supposed to meet you. Phi-”

“Shh,” She interrupted. “So you’re the Captain… Well, I’ll help you once I get some caffeine pills. I ran out. Go see the old woman at the pharmacy…. I don’t know her name.” Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Max roll his eyes, and nearly did so yourself. 

“Alright.” You were getting impatient, and just wanted to meet with “The Broker” as soon as possible. Apparently, he had information Phineas wanted. You left the bar, and after wandering around the main street for a few minutes, you found the pharmacy, where an old woman stood, smiling. 

“How can I help you, dearie?”

“I need caffeine pills.”

“Sorry, I can’t give you them. Supplies are limited and I’m only supposed to give prescriptions to residents.” You sighed, feeling frustrated.

“They’re for Nyoka.” 

The old woman shook her head. “She can’t have any more. I’m sorry dear, but it’s the rules.” You turned around, about to leave.

“Do you have a bathroom here?” Max asked. You were about to snap.

“I do, by the supply room upstairs. Second door on the right.”

“Thanks.” Max began walking up the stairs. 

You called out after him. “We’ll be outside.” You and Felix stood outside, leaning against the building, nearby. The sun was out, and it was getting somewhat warm.

“Boss, I’m sure we can find some caffeine pills somewhere.” 

“Felix, I love your optimism, but could you please be quiet for a few minutes while I think?” You internally groaned at your tone - you didn’t mean for the words to be so harsh. He looked down, like a sad puppy.

“Sorry, Boss.” His voice was quiet. Now, you really regretted saying anything. After a few minutes, Max returned, a smirk on his face. He held out a bottle to you. You read the label in disbelief.

“Did you, a man of faith, just steal caffeine pills from an overly nice old woman?” You said in quiet disbelief. His smirk widened.

“Maybe. I tend to be pretty good with a mag-pick. Now let’s give them to Nyoka and be on our way.”

You pocketed the pills. “Thanks, Max. I can’t believe it.” The three of you headed back to the bar. Max seemed to be more confident than usual, while Felix still had his eyes glued to the ground. You made a mental note to talk to him later, and apologise. 

“You got those pills?” You silently passed her the bottle. “Good.” She quickly swallowed two of them. “Ahh…. Much better. Right, you want to see The Broker?”

“Yep.” 

“Three’s a crowd, and it’s risky taking another person to see him, let alone two.” Sighing, you internally debated who should go back to the ship.

“Max, you should go back to the ship.” He nodded, and left the bar. Felix seemed to cheer up a little bit - you had decided to choose him because he liked adventure, but also you did feel bad for before. “Let’s go.” 

-

“We should stop here, set up camp for the night.” Nyoka gestured to the small, single room “shack” we’d found. 

“Alright. I’ll go on first watch.” You spoke. “Goodnight Felix, Nyoka.” Felix simply nodded, which concerned you - he wasn’t typically this quiet.

“Night, Cap. Wake me up in a few hours.” 

-

The three of you returned to The Unreliable, bloody, bruised and tired. “You two clean up first. We’ll drink afterwards.” You gestured for them to go ahead as you went into your quarters, surprised to see Yoonseok there. 

“You’re back! I wanted to ask you something.”

“You know you can, always.” You smiled. “What’s up?”

He hesitated. “Well, I hate to ask, but… When we have the time, could we go to Byzantium? I wanted to get something.”

“Funny you ask that, we have to go there next anyway.” His face lit up, and his heart-shaped smile appeared. 

“Thanks, Y/N! I’ll leave you to it.”

-

After you’d cleaned up, you asked ADA to tell the others over the loudspeakers to meet up in the kitchen. You’d found every alcoholic drink possible, and also some non-alcoholic ones for Parvati and Yoonseok, who were both sharing some Purpleberry Juice. Nyoka had, as expected, already finished a beer. Max was just opening some Iceberg Aged Whiskey, and Felix was nowhere in sight. You grabbed two bottles of Purpleberry Lacquer, and knocked on Felix’s door.

“Come in.” His voice was muffled, and you slid the door open. “Captain.” He was sitting on his bed, in a loosely buttoned plain red shirt and dark brown pants. 

“I’m sorry for being harsh to you yesterday. It wasn’t cool.” You sat next to him, cross legged. “Lacquer?” He took the purple bottle from your hand.

“Thanks, Boss. I’m sorry for making you mad.” He took a swig from the bottle.

“Felix, you didn’t make me mad. I just- I was getting impatient with Nyoka needing those caffeine pills and that old woman doing her job.”

“And then Max stole them…” He drifted off, his next question startling you. “Do you like Max? In a romantic way?”

“I- Uhh- I don’t think so. He’s handsome and mature, sure, but I don’t think I do.”

His light brown eyes refused to meet yours. “He likes you, you know. A lot.”

“I really don’t-” You couldn’t finish your sentence. “Where’d you get this from?”

He sighed. “The way he looks at you, like you’re the only thing in the universe, the only thing that really matters. He’ll get really happy every time he sees you. When you walk into a room, he will be less grouchy.” You were speechless as he drank a good half of his Lacquer. “It’s a shame, Captain. You two would be a good match.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah. You should go talk to him.” As he stood up, you couldn’t help but notice how attractive Felix was, despite being an absolute himbo. He was decently built, though it was his personality that struck you. He was willing to do whatever you asked; particularly if it included anything that would “negatively” impact the Board. Loyal to a fault, but also had an air of innocence about him that made you just want to keep him safe. Seeing him sad like this, you just wanted to wrap him in a blanket, and give him a hug. 

“Felix, wait. Come here.”

“Don’t let me hold you up, Bo-”

“That was an order. Come here.” Felix sighed, like a teenager, and stood in front of you. In a flash, you wrapped your arms around him, your chin resting on his shoulder. “I’m sorry. Thank you for being part of my crew, it wouldn’t be the same without you. Please forgive me.”


End file.
